Humor Columns Index
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Blond Jokes
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Movie Quotes

Movie Quotes!
A B C D E F G H J K L M N O P Q-R S-T U-W
organized by alphabetical movie title :)
Rain Man
-Disappointed? Why should I be disappointed? I got the rosebushes, didn't I? I got a used car didn't I?
-K-mart Sucks
-I like to drive slow on the driveway.

Real Genius
-The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets- I got it. Nudity.
-This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This, this is Kent. This is what happens to people when the get too sexually frustrated.
-I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"
-Oh really? Well what about that time I found you naked with that bowl of jello?

Reality Bites
-Life is just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. <
-I am not under any orders to make the world a better place.
-You've reached the winter of our discontent
-A juggling act. You mean metaphorically
Reservoir Dogs
-We got places all over the place.
-You don't need proof when you have instinct.
-I'm hungry. Let's get a taco.
-I don't give a good f*ck what you know or don't know, I'm going to torture you anyway. Not to get information, because it's amusing to me to torture a cop. You can say anything you want 'cause I've heard it all before.
-All right ramblers, let's get rambling!
-If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he's Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in.
-Mr. Brown? That sounds too much like Mr. Sh*t.
-Somebody's shoved a red-hot poker up our *ss, and I want to know whose name is on the handle!
-If you're talking like a b*tch, I'm gonna slap you like a b*tch!
-Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
-Gee, that was really exciting. I bet you're a big Lee Marvin fan, aren't you?
-You shoot me in a dream, you'd better wake up and apologize
-All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you aren't going to get. <
Return of the Jedi
-Threepio you tell that slime-sucking, worm-ridden piece of filth that he'll get no such pleasure from us! Right?
-This will be the last mistake you ever make.